(Gluten-free) Chocolate Chip Cookie Love

Diabetes nearly killed my love for cooking.

I was the kid in the kitchen, making bread and cookies with my mom. Since then, I’ve always loved to bake and cook. It’s like therapy for me. There is nothing more stress relieving than throwing some butter and sugar in my KitchenAid mixer and starting the beater whirling.

When Finn was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 2013, all the joy went out of cooking. Each morsel had to be considered, counted. I was never a cook-by-the-recipe kind of chef. I always saw each recipe as a starting point, a springboard into something more interesting, more suited to my tastes.

Now I had to follow recipes, multiply and divide and add and subtract to get the right carb counts, and hope, just hope, that I cut that lasagna portion exactly like the others. Cooking became about managing blood sugars and about math, instead of about creativity and feeding my family the food they loved (or really, the food I loved and they tolerated).

When Finn was diagnosed with celiac disease in 2014, it was like the nail in the coffin. I still had to make dinner, of course, but flour now looked to me like poison. For at least a year, I gave up completely on baking. 

Something else you must know about me: I have four hungry kids. The older three (13, 11 and 8) eat like adults, and if I ate their volume in food, I would double in size. The doctor says my daughter will be 5’10”, my boys 6’4”-6’5”, and I think they are practicing for their pending giant status. Budget and volume are two other factors in my meal planning and cooking. I have a four-fold challenge when it comes to cooking: diabetic-friendly, gluten-free, high volume, low cost.

After about a year of pouting and stressing and having myself a nice little pity-party, I pulled up my big girl pants and figured it out, baby step by baby step. No sense in whining over this life. It is what it is, and I might as well live it well.

I started with my favorite thing in the whole world (other than Jesus, Todd, and my kids, of course, and maybe a big fat Cabernet Sauvignon): chocolate chip cookies. I borrowed some gluten-free cookbooks. I scoured Pinterest. I tried a few different gluten-free flours. My kids still talk about the cookie soup I once made - they want me to recreate it because they liked the chocolate goo so much. (I couldn't even if I tried!)

Finally, I modified my favorite cookie recipe: I cut the sugar by 30%. I added oats, then walnuts, then flax seed (anything to increase the fiber and protein and slow down the blood sugar spike). I used my favorite new gluten-free flour, Bob's Red Mill 1 for 1 baking flour. Then I let my kids help me make them (my diabetic included, with an extra little 10g carb bolus), and even eat the batter. Now these cookies are a weekly staple in my house. I let them have two cookies in the afternoon, then I kick them outside to play. The exercise tempers the blood sugar spike and the cookies prevent the late afternoon lows.

Without further ado, THIS is my recipe.

  

Jen’s favorite gluten-free oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

¾ cup butter, softened

½ cup packed brown sugar (105g carbs)

½ cup white granulated sugar (100g carbs)

1 t. baking powder

¼ t. baking soda

 1 t. cinnamon

1 t. real vanilla extract

2 eggs

1 ¾ cup Bob’s Red Mill 1 for 1 gluten-free baking flour (210g carbs)

2 cups oats (100g carbs)

½ cup walnuts, chopped fine

1 cup chocolate chips (160g carbs)

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Total carbs = 675g

Beat the butter until it’s until its soft and whippy (that’s a technical term). Add the brown and white sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, vanilla and eggs. Mix until well combined, scraping the bottom and the sides of the bowl (make sure to lick the spoon). Add the flour, oats and walnuts, mixing well, then fold in the chocolate chips. (Make sure you make yourself a separate little pile of chocolate chips for yourself and the kid “helping.” 1 T. chocolate chips = 10g carbs.)

Drop spoonfuls of cookie batter onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and let the cookies rest for a minute on the sheet (if you can stand it) then transfer to a cooling rack for 30 more seconds (because that’s all you can wait) until you eat the melty goodness.

For the carb count, count how many cookies you made (each batch is different) and divide that number by the total carbs in the recipe. For example: 675g / 28 cookies = 24g carbs each. 

Dosing your favorite diabetic 20 minutes ahead of time will also help with the blood sugar rise. I also add 10g carbs for his chocolate chip pile and don’t worry about all the “licks.”

And there you have it, some chocolate chip cookie love from me to you. Baking and cooking for a diabetic with celiac disease can be challenging, but it is possible, and can still be fun. 

There are Always Reasons to be Thankful

I’d been having chest pains.

My doctor performed a normal EKG in her office, but she sent me for a stress test at the hospital anyway. They attached probes to my chest and back and cranked up the speed and incline on the treadmill and watched my heart work.

After the test, I sat in the parking lot, just breathing for a second, in and out, slowly, like I’d done a thousand times in the past year when my anxiety rolled in like a storm, when the phone rang. It was Finn’s endocrinologist.

My heart rate jacked way up again.

                                                                            ***

Nine months had passed since Finn was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at age five. Caring for his newly diagnosed little self was the most stressful thing I’d ever done in my life. I ran constantly at a high anxiety level, even when I wasn’t with him. I was afraid of dangerous low blood sugars, and I blamed myself for every high blood sugar.

To compound things, the medical bills were overwhelming. When Finn was diagnosed, my husband Todd was only three weeks out from back surgery, his second in one year. He didn’t work for sixteen weeks that year, and we felt it. Add to that thousands in medical bills and a new monthly cost for diabetic supplies; we were drowning financially. We knew we’d never pay off the $14,000 of debt we’d accumulated on a budget that was already stretched at the seams. So I got a job at a fine dining restaurant a mile from my house. It was fun, and a nice break from the kids, but waiting tables is stressful, too, especially at a bustling restaurant with an upscale clientele.  

                                                                                ***

The endocrinologist had news following Finn’s first round of blood work: Finn had celiac disease.

I immediately burst into tears. While I was stoic and in denial when Finn was diagnosed with diabetes, I was a blubbering mess with the diagnosis of celiac disease. This second diagnoses meant more was wrong with my precious boy, and another lifestyle change. The doctor compassionately explained, through my bitter tears, that Finn would have to eat a gluten-free diet for the rest of his life, and he would need an endoscopy to confirm the diagnosis. (Read: more medical bills.)

Hot tears fell onto the steering wheel. It was all just too much. To make things worse, Todd was away on a business trip and I had to bear the news alone.

A celiac disease diagnosis meant that I could no longer rely on processed food for dinner on the nights when I worked. There were plenty of gluten-free pre-prepared foods on the market, but the volume of food that my four growing children ate made it cost prohibitive. No more could we get Chinese take-out on Sunday afternoons or pizza delivery on Friday nights. Restaurant eating was challenging at best, and it didn’t seem fair that the other kids could have chicken fingers with fries while Finn had a grilled chicken breast and roasted broccoli. At home, I had to make everything from scratch. This was not easy for a working mom of four. I scoured Pinterest for recipes, but found mostly deserts and complicated flour mixes. In addition, gluten free breads and cookies and flour had almost fifty percent higher carb counts, so feeding him to fullness meant less reliance on carbs overall. Nothing like pushing chicken on a six year-old. “Here, honey, eat more chicken! Or maybe some cheese?” 

In many ways, the diagnosis of celiac disease was harder for me to deal with than the diabetes. While not life threatening like diabetes, celiac disease was life altering in a different way. No longer could he “eat anything” with the right amount of insulin. School functions, birthday parties, cook-outs: eating was harder than ever. 

                                                                                       ***

The stress test showed that there was nothing wrong with my heart. The doctor suggested that perhaps I was just out of shape. (Thanks for that, Doc.) Three years into our journey with diabetes, I still wrestle with anxiety over my son’s health, but not like I did in those first brutal months. My rolling boil of stress is more like a low simmer.

We did pay off that $14,000 debt, including all our medical bills and lost income with the money I made waitressing. We learned laser focus with our financial goals and how to live on less. We saved three thousand dollars the year we stopped getting weekly takeout. We rarely go out to eat as a whole family, but ice cream is gluten-free and relatively inexpensive. (Yay for Rita’s!) We got a medical grant that helped pay for supplies for a year, including the start-up costs for a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor and Omnipod insulin pump. Then we moved to a state that provides medical assistance for children with Type 1 diabetes. (I almost fell over when I found out.)

I learned how to feed Finn (and the rest of the family) gluten-free. I rely heavily on rice and potatoes and tortilla chips for inexpensive, gluten-free carbs. We eat mostly whole foods like chicken, ground turkey and lots of fruits and vegetables. I shop at Aldi’s for gluten-free pretzels and crackers and the occasional cake or brownie mix, and Bob’s Red Mill 1 for 1 baking flour is my new best friend. With it, I make pancakes and waffles and my favorite, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. We rely on Udi’s bread and pizza crusts. Friday night is still pizza night, but we make our own. Its (almost) more fun that way. And our fast food? Rotisserie chicken and baby carrots, or cheese and crackers and sliced apples.

The biggest surprise? We are healthier than ever as a family. I gave up gluten, too, because I found that I felt a lot better. My skin cleared up and I felt less bloated. I often tell Finn that his diseases have made our family healthier than ever.

I would never choose this journey into the world of chronic illness. However, I have learned there are always reasons to be thankful.