My third child, Finn, is entering Kindergarten in the fall. His younger brother, Zac, my baby, is only two years behind him. I’m looking at, after being home with babies for over 10 years, a change in season. In two short years, all of my four children will be in school all day. I, a stay-at-home mom for all this time, will have to figure out what to do! On one hand, I rejoice. I will finally have some quiet, be able to finish a project without breaking for snack time or to break up a fight, go to the grocery store (and the bathroom) by myself. On the other hand, I weep. Though it has been a challenging season with young children home all day, it has been a happy time. My days have been full of blond smiles and little hands “helping” me with my work. We’ve baked together, read together, napped together, gone on bike rides together. I have often said that it took four children for me to appreciate what a blessing they are and how quickly they grow.
I admit, as I look forward to this rapidly approaching
transition in my life, I’ve been digging my heels in, in fear. I’ve been
thinking and talking about having another baby. (We’ll call it temporary insanity
and amnesia wrapped into one.) I don’t know what the next season of my life
looks like. I talk about writing a book, but really that’s just because I don’t
know how I will fill my time. Will I quilt more? Blog more? Read more? Will I
sit home by myself as my friends with little ones gather for play dates without
me? Will I linger at the gym too long, not to lose those persistent 10 pounds,
but to socialize like some of the other moms? What will my life look like?
With these questions floating around my head, and my
(thankfully) empty womb, I went to church this Mother’s Day. I was happy: I’d
been well-spoiled on Saturday with homemade kid cards, “free hug” coupons, rose
and lilac bushes, lunch out as a family, and even an unexpected gifts from my
generous husband. I was feeling very thankful for my husband and children, and
how fun they all are. I was even feeling grateful that they were no longer
babies, and we could spontaneously float through the day without a break for
naptime and without any toddler (or parent) meltdowns.
My pastor began a sermon about Mary and Jesus. He looked at
the relationship between them and how it changed over Jesus’ time on earth. My
transition will not look like Mary’s. I’m not raising the Son of God. But as I
face my children all leaving for school, I am looking at a transition coming in
my own life. And I had much to learn from Mary’s transition – mainly this: God
will take care of me in this transition, and all that will come.
Mommy
In Luke 2:41-52, Jesus is a twelve year old boy. In Jewish
culture, not yet having reached bar mitzvah, he was
still considered a child. Jesus and his parents travel to Jerusalem for the
Passover Feast. In the crowds and chaos, Mary and Joseph lose Jesus, and find
him three days later in the temple, sitting among the teachers, “listening to
them and asking them questions” (v. 46). Jesus, though a boy, amazed both the
teachers and his parents (once they found him) with his understanding. He was
God in the flesh of an adolescent boy. He was in his “Father’s house.” But
Jesus left the temple with his parents and obeyed them. It’s at this stage of
His life that Mary is still “Mommy” to Jesus. She had carried him in her womb,
gave birth to him, presented him to the Lord on the eighth day, and watched him
grow in strength and wisdom (Luke 2:40). She was Jesus’ Mommy.
Woman
The Bible doesn’t tell us about Jesus’ life from age 12-30.
When we meet him again, he is a grown man, and he is at a wedding with his mom
and his twelve disciples (John 2:1-2).
At the wedding in Cana, the master of the banquet runs out
of wine. Whether it was poor planning or unexpected guests, we don’t know. They
ran out of wine. Mary involves Jesus. She obviously knows who he is. She’s known
since the angel visited her 31 years prior. She addresses Jesus with what my
pastor called “woman speak.” In other words, she speaks the obvious: “They have
no more wine,” while implying something else: “Do something about it.” Jesus
addresses his mom in an interesting way. He says to her “Woman, why do you
involve me?” He speaks no disrespect to her, nor does he talk down to her. He
merely calls her “woman.” No longer “Mommy” but “woman.” Mary has transitioned
in her relationship with Jesus. She will always be the mother of Jesus, but her
standing has changed.
That point is further illustrated in Luke 8:20-21. Mary and
Jesus’ brothers came to see him, but at this point his popularity has grown and
there are crowds around Jesus. They can’t get to him, so someone tells Jesus,
“Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you” (v.20).
Jesus replies to the person, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s
word and put it into practice.”
But before we wrongly interpret that Jesus doesn’t
appreciate his mom, we need to look at Mary at the crucifixion.
Jesus is hanging on the cross, moments from dying for my sin
and yours, and his mother and a few others are at the foot of the cross,
looking on. In some of his last words, Jesus asks John to take care of his mom.
John 19:26-27: “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the
disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,
here is your son,” 27 and to the
disciple, “Here is your mother.”
From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” Mary is still
“woman;” never again “Mommy.” But Jesus’ love and appreciation for her is
obvious. His last dying wish to his best friend is that John would take care of
his mom. Jesus loved Mary, first as his mom, then as a woman. Mary transitioned
in her relationship with Jesus, but her value in Jesus’ eyes never changed. Her
role changed, but not Jesus’ love for her.
Disciple
We meet Mary once again in the book of
Acts. Her son Jesus has suffered, died, rose again, then was taken up into the
glory of heaven. In Acts 1:14, we find Mary in the upper room, praying with the
disciples and the others. They are waiting in Jerusalem to be clothed with
power from on high, just as Jesus commanded them. Mary has transitioned again
in her relationship to Jesus. Now she is his disciple.
Much like my role as mom is transitioning as I watch all my
kids go to school, Mary’s relationship with Jesus transitioned as well. She was
first his “Mommy,” his everything. As Jesus became an adult, she was “woman,”
loved like any other woman Jesus met. Our last view of Mary is as a disciple of
Jesus. She knew from the beginning who Jesus would become, and she saw it all
the way to completion. Through it all, Jesus loved Mary. At every stage of his
life (and hers), Jesus loved his mom. He showed this in a practical way when he
asked John to take care of her when he was gone.
In the same way, God will help me as my role as mom changes.
God will help me evolve at every stage of my life, and as I transition through
every phase of motherhood. I may not know what my life will look like tomorrow,
but I do know that my heavenly Father knows what I need. He will change me,
equip me, lead me and love me at every stage in my life and my kids’ lives.
So how about you? Where are you in your motherhood
transition? Are you a new mom? Just
learning the ropes? Have you just added a child and are adjusting to life with
more? Or are your children heading off to school or starting sports and
activities? Are your children becoming teenagers and presenting you a whole
new set of challenges? Or are they leaving, and you are staring at the empty
nest, wondering what happened? And what happens next?
In whatever stage you are at with your children, know that
Jesus will help you transition. He has a good plan and a purpose for your life,
and your usefulness will never dry up when you walk with him. He loves you, he
will care for you, and he will lead you forward into the unknown. Jesus did it
for his mom. He will do it for you.
