I recently met a homeschool mom of 5. She told me her story:
“We had all these kids because I thought that’s what God wanted us to do. But I
didn’t know it was going to be this hard!” I saw in her eyes that this was not
a lazy woman looking for the easy way out. But she was exhausted, and wanted to
know where she had gone wrong.
It made me wonder: what
in American evangelical churches teaches women that work until exhaustion and
burnout is godliness???
I think the answer is pretty simple, and my new friend even
quoted the verse: “Die to self.” Here’s some others: “Carry your cross daily,”
“Consider others better than yourselves,” “Love your neighbor.” The list goes
on and on, but I wonder, have we taken these verses out of context and used
them against ourselves and created a Christian life not of abundance, but of
work, exhaustion, burnout, and over-extension.
I certainly had. At the height of my works-based faith, I
was leading women’s ministry, completing my weekly homework for Bible Study Fellowship, raising four babies (ages 8, 6, 3 and 1), trying support my husband
as he co-led worship every Sunday morning (which included bringing my four
babies to church an hour early and entertaining them there), hosting a life
group, trying to keep up with laundry and feed my hungry family healthy meals… Oh,
and I decided to wake up at 4:30am so that I could intercede for the saints for
an hour, then study the Word for another hour, before my husband and I prayed
together at 6:30am. Then start the
day. It all sounds so godly, doesn’t it?
Except in my heart, I was angry, bitter, resentful, weary,
unmotivated, unhappy, and finding all of my worth and identity in what I
accomplished “for Jesus.” Really, I was just accomplishing it for Jen.
Thank you Jesus for delivering me from my own self. Jesus opened my eyes, and literally delivered
me from all my do-good-Christian-stuff, which in fact, wasn’t from Him at all. He
then, like the good Shepherd that He is, led me into a season of rest. It’s been
so sweet.
I think us American, evangelical Christian women need to
renew our minds and look at Scripture differently. We need to find some
different verses to quote:
“He
gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11 (“gently leads” in the Hebrew
means he gives rest to, or he leads to water or refreshment)
“He makes me lie down in green pastures; he
leads me beside quiet waters.” Psalm 23:2
(Oh,
thank you Jesus for MAKING ME lie down. I don’t think I would have done it
otherwise.)
“He
gives strength to the weary…” Isaiah 40:29
(Hallelujah!)
These verses lead us to the source of strength, and to the
One who lets us know, “is this your will, Lord? Have you laid this burden on me
(since your burden is light – Matthew 11:28-30)? Or did I lay this burden on
myself, and now I’m struggling under the weight of it?”
For me, I do think some of the weight I was carrying was a
burden from the Lord. For example, women’s ministry. It was work on top of a
full mommy load, but I loved it. I was passionate about it, still am. I love
being in the company of women, encouraging women, teaching them, working with
women to accomplish a goal or a task. But there are also seasons, and we need
to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit to know when our season for a certain task
is on, or off. For me, for this time, my season to lead women’s ministry is
done. That doesn’t mean the Lord will never lead me back there. (I hope He
does.) But for today, He has released me from that burden.
So I ask you, what burdens are you carrying that the Lord
did not lay on your shoulders? What burdens are light? What burdens, though
they take time and work, actually bring you joy?
I also challenge you in this: what part of your
schedule/work load is really to serve YOU? Because you feel worthless “just”
raising your children, or you enjoy the thanks and praise of ministry or
service and don’t get it at home, or you like the attention and accolades of
public service, or you are doing something you feel like you “should do”
because all the other women in your church are doing it, and it seems like the
“right thing to do,” even though you hate doing it. I use these examples
because I’ve done every single one of them. My motives for ministry were
impure.
My prayer for myself, and for you, is that we would find
rest in the good Shepherd. He isn’t waiting to give us more work. He promises
us a light burden. But that doesn’t mean he will never challenge us, or give us
something to do that seems like “too much.” It is those times that we need to
cry out for him for strength and help. Like Eve was to Adam, God is our “ezer,”
our helper.
God, we
love you. Thank you that you are not a hard master, who tells us to work
harder, harder, harder. Instead, you promise us rest. Thank you that you see
what is done in secret, and you will reward us. Please help us to follow your
Spirit, to know the time and the season of our ministry. Please help us to find joy and contentment in
our current “work,” whatever that may be. We love you, and we thank you for
your Son, Jesus. Amen.
In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength. Isaiah 30:15
